Aug 30, 2009

My thoughts at Midnight

It's been a year. I have friends that have tried longer. I have friends that don't have to try, it just comes naturally. My husband is supportive. I have zits on my face. My hair is pulled back, I won't blow dry it, it looks horrible. I have worked many many nights in a row. I hope Chris's test results come back soon. I should be doing my homework reading. I wish I was on a beach. I will soon be on a beach. I have a lot to do before I am on a beach. I have many friends. I have only one best friend. My best friend is a guy. I wish I lived someplace warm for all seasons. I am glad I live so close to my family. Chris wants to ride his bike. I don't want to gain weight. I am going to the gym tomorrow. I can only lift weights. I have drawn a lot of blood tonight. I smile at the comment, "So your a vampire?" I wish I could go to school to be an esthetician. I want to be an esthetician. I want to be a good mom. My mom is my 2ND best bud. She makes me laugh. I probably won't be a mom til I am 30. 30 is not old. Never mind 30 is old. Chris is going to be 30. What am I going to do for his birthday? I am two years away from 30. Most of my friends are young. Wish I was young. I am loosing years off my life working nights. I like to work nights. No management on nights. I love to sleep. Slept all day today. Haven't gone to church in 4 weeks. Need to go to church. I haven't plucked my eyebrows in forever. I don't think I will for again. Ha ha who am I kidding. I like how they look now. Thank you for listening. I am emotionally drained. Our conversation was what I needed. I feel better now. I will change. Your words are circling my mind. I thank you. I love you.

7 comments:

Kristen and Garrett Halligan said...

LOVE random thinkers, I can totally relate! ;)

Rachael said...

That was fun to read. :) You are such a cute girl... hang in there... things will work out. I wish I was on a beach too. That sounds nice. Thanks for being a friend! :) Love ya!

Heather said...

its good to know that others have very similar thoughts as mine! I have always admired your ability to hold everything going on together!! Life goes by way to fast to not love and learn from the problems and issues we have at the time! 30 is NOT OLD!! Love ya!! And I think about you all the time lets get together soon!

Jamie said...

you are not old! and i am SO jealous about your cruise. lucky girl! wanna come be sadie's mommy for a week so i can go on one? : )

Sheen said...

i love you lady!

hang in there. you are beautiful! you'll be an AMAZING mother! you have great skin! you'd be great at being an esthetician! jealous that you'll be on a beach soon!

LOVE love LOVE love LOVE you!

k nelle said...

I love you too!

Reid, Megan, Jackson and Aiva said...

Oh my friend, I am sorry. I do feel bad that things have been such a struggle for you guys, hopefully you'll get it all straightened out soon. I say it's your turn. You worked so hard to help get Chris through school so I think you should quit working and go get your esthetician, can't you get it within a year?

It's time! Change! Quit working ant "taking years off your life". Life is too short to not do what you want to do!