it's in the details

i am almost done with nie nies book. I have two chapters left. i bawled today. i bawled because i have taken so much for granted. what this remarkable woman has accomplished is amazing. her inspiration as a mother empowers me. i want to be better, less negative, more cheerful and kiss and love my kids. i want to be the best mother i can and know how for them. 
on Today, today i heard about a mom loosing her legs from protecting her kids from a tornado. debris fell on them and she had to amputate them. loved her courageous story. i hope to do anything for my children if they EVER  needed me and this story reaffirmed the power we have as mothers. 
my kids napped for 3 hrs today. it was fabulous, but as i read nie nies book i wanted them to wake up. to hold them so close. to hear them laugh and giggle and coo. dean doesn't talk much and what does come out of his mouth is this awful fake cry that if i did it for you you would laugh out loud. i imitate him  for some of my friends and over the phone is even better. anyway i go crazy when he does it. but today, after reading i longed for it. i wanted the mess of toys and the food splattered all over the table. dean has been learning to eat with utensils and is doing fairly well. i wanted little marn to look up with her sweet eyes at me and say please pick me up again. or dean coming in the kitchen to tell me "no" and push me away from washing dishes so he could have a hug. i once again am grateful for nie nies inspiration to strive to be a better mother and look at the details. i want to remember every little thing about my babies. they grow up too fast. i have to admit i have had thoughts of terrible things happening to me after reading what has happened to nie. i pray everyday for the life i have and wouldn't change a thing about it. i just know that heavenly father knows what i am capable of and i have to have faith. 

xo